20 Oct 2014 18:55 | 0 notes | Reblog

It’ not cannibalism if you’re eating yourself. 

10 Oct 2014 20:19 | 0 notes | Reblog

I could go hang out with my friends today or I could watch Netflix… Netflix is all I really need.

10 Oct 2014 20:18 | 263,556 notes | Reblog
wholockedcumberwumber:

fictionallydisturbed:

snowywolfgirl:

thefingerfuckingfemalefury:

NIGHT TIME
TIME FOR A CAT PARTY
HUMAN
HUMAN DANCE WITH US 


Dͬͫ͊̎҉҉̛̬̣͚A̱̫̩̣̫̎ͫͤͨ̂̆̋͘͜Ņ̷̣̱̇ͤ͗͛̚C̛̞̜͕̖̤̥̱ͤ̚È̡͓͚ͯ́ ̣̩ͬ̀̋̐̿́ͨͧ̀͟W̛̼͇͍͕̄ͨ̓̅ͬ̔ͮ̃͘͠Ȋ̷̶̧̳̖ͫ̎͑̿͊̚T̨̳̬͙̥̆ͧ̂̒ͅHͦ̽͐̀̿ͫͧ̌͏ͅ ̔̊̈͐͗͡͏̜͓̀Ư̡̛͈͕̯͕̹ͪ̎͆S͇̗͕͚̳̻͒͐̍̄ͯ̒̚͠,̷̢͎̥̻͗͗͌͌́̀̚ ̟̺̟̜̼͔ͨ͒̒͟H̯̆͐͡U̅̀̽ͦ́ͥ́͆͏̦̰̙̲͔̟͜M̡̭̫̰̰̭̘̬ͬ͑̍ͮ̄̓A̯̫͕̲͗ͩ̏̊̔͛Nͤ͏̷̞̩͎̦̱.̵̟͔̟̓͒̾͡

DEAR JESUS CHRIST

WILL ALWAYS REBLLOG JUST  FOR GIF

wholockedcumberwumber:

fictionallydisturbed:

snowywolfgirl:

thefingerfuckingfemalefury:

NIGHT TIME

TIME FOR A CAT PARTY

HUMAN

HUMAN DANCE WITH US 

Dͬͫ͊̎҉҉̛̬̣͚A̱̫̩̣̫̎ͫͤͨ̂̆̋͘͜Ņ̷̣̱̇ͤ͗͛̚C̛̞̜͕̖̤̥̱ͤ̚È̡͓͚ͯ́ ̣̩ͬ̀̋̐̿́ͨͧ̀͟W̛̼͇͍͕̄ͨ̓̅ͬ̔ͮ̃͘͠Ȋ̷̶̧̳̖ͫ̎͑̿͊̚T̨̳̬͙̥̆ͧ̂̒ͅHͦ̽͐̀̿ͫͧ̌͏ͅ ̔̊̈͐͗͡͏̜͓̀Ư̡̛͈͕̯͕̹ͪ̎͆S͇̗͕͚̳̻͒͐̍̄ͯ̒̚͠,̷̢͎̥̻͗͗͌͌́̀̚ ̟̺̟̜̼͔ͨ͒̒͟H̯̆͐͡U̅̀̽ͦ́ͥ́͆͏̦̰̙̲͔̟͜M̡̭̫̰̰̭̘̬ͬ͑̍ͮ̄̓A̯̫͕̲͗ͩ̏̊̔͛Nͤ͏̷̞̩͎̦̱.̵̟͔̟̓͒̾͡

DEAR JESUS CHRIST

WILL ALWAYS REBLLOG JUST  FOR GIF

05 Oct 2014 19:29 | 0 notes | Reblog

I love it when your taking a class as an elective and it’s something that you love and you think it’s impossible to fail and then your teacher pars with one of those kids who took the class just because they didn’t sign up for enough and all you want to do is punch them in the face because they SUCK.

05 Oct 2014 19:27 | 10,640 notes | Reblog

hugvvarts:

favourite harry potter text posts on tumblr -> part 2 - marauders

part 1

29 Sep 2014 18:20 | 882,314 notes | Reblog
pandaaamonium14:

How Do Court Reporters Keep Straight Faces?These are from a book called Disorder in the Courts and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while the exchanges were taking place.ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?WITNESS: He said, ‘Where am I, Cathy?’ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?WITNESS: My name is Susan!_______________________________ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.____________________________________________ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?WITNESS: No, I just lie there.____________________________________________ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth?WITNESS: July 18th.ATTORNEY: What year?WITNESS: Every year._____________________________________ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you?WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can’t remember which.ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you?WITNESS: Forty-five years._________________________________ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?WITNESS: Yes.ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?WITNESS: I forget..ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?___________________________________________ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn’t it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn’t know about it until the next morning?WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?____________________________________ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he?WITNESS: He’s 20, much like your IQ.___________________________________________ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?WITNESS: Are you shitting me?_________________________________________ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?WITNESS: Yes.ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?WITNESS: Getting laid____________________________________________ATTORNEY: She had three children , right?WITNESS: Yes.ATTORNEY: How many were boys?WITNESS: None.ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?____________________________________________ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?WITNESS: By death..ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?WITNESS: Take a guess.___________________________________________ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beardATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I’m going with male._____________________________________ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.______________________________________ATTORNEY: Doctor , how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight._________________________________________ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?WITNESS: Oral…_________________________________________ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 PMATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished.____________________________________________ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?WITNESS: Are you qualified to ask that question?______________________________________And last:ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?WITNESS: No.ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?WITNESS: No.ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?WITNESS: No..ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?WITNESS: No.ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.

pandaaamonium14:

How Do Court Reporters Keep Straight Faces?

These are from a book called Disorder in the Courts and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while the exchanges were taking place.

ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?
WITNESS: He said, ‘Where am I, Cathy?’
ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
WITNESS: My name is Susan!
_______________________________
ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
WITNESS: No, I just lie there.
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth?
WITNESS: July 18th.
ATTORNEY: What year?
WITNESS: Every year.
_____________________________________
ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you?
WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can’t remember which.
ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you?
WITNESS: Forty-five years.
_________________________________
ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget..
ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?
___________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn’t it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn’t know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
____________________________________

ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he?
WITNESS: He’s 20, much like your IQ.
___________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: Are you shitting me?
_________________________________________
ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
WITNESS: Getting laid
____________________________________________

ATTORNEY: She had three children , right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death..
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
WITNESS: Take a guess.
___________________________________________

ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I’m going with male.
_____________________________________
ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
______________________________________
ATTORNEY: Doctor , how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?
WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight.
_________________________________________
ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
WITNESS: Oral…
_________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 PM
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished.
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
WITNESS: Are you qualified to ask that question?

______________________________________
And last:

ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No..
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.

28 Sep 2014 22:48 | 406 notes | Reblog

liamstewrt:

Please, I want to be alone. You have a sister, you’re never going to be  a l o n e .

28 Sep 2014 22:46 | 0 notes | Reblog

No matter what you’re feeling put on a good face.

28 Sep 2014 22:43 | 0 notes | Reblog

The things you’re saying aren’t appropriate for school are the same things you’re teaching us. You’re teaching them to us because they’re part of life. If you don’t let us talk about them in school then how do you expect us to be able to comfortably talk about them later? You’re teaching us to be afraid of the topic and frankly not really doing your job which is preparing us for our future lives.